OH MY GOD. THERE’S GONNA BE A LEGO LORD OF THE RINGS VIDEO GAME.
THIS MAKES ME SOOO HAPPY. THINK ABOUT HOW HILARIOUSSSSS IT WOULD BE TO PLAY THAT. GAAAAH.
I want it in my hands nowwwww!!!
Went to a party, and pretty much had the best time with people that I rarely ever get to see because we all go to different schools in faraway places. I miss them because they totally make life worth living because they’re all so incredible.
I love how everyone from my high school has been blowing up my newsfeed being all like, “omg I can’t believe tomorrow is the last day of high school. I’m gonna miss everyone so much.” and blah blah blah.
And I’m just like, “Bitches, I left two years ago. Whoop-de-fucking-do. High school was a miserable shit storm. Shut up.”
I am so bitter.
A Labor of Self-Love
So, I’m starting a project of self-love.
The past two years of my life have been emotionally very difficult. I’ve been suicidally depressed, dealing with a lot of different kinds of trauma involving relationships, friends, family, my own self-image, living in a society ruled by patriarchy and so on. The last few months have been incredibly trying, and ever since school ended, I’ve become a lot less busy and occupied with studying, henceforth driving myself into a pretty large hole of self-pity, wallowing, and unhappiness.
Lots of bad thoughts and feelings have been floating around my mind basically.
However, unlike a similarly bad time in my life (last fall), I want to share my feelings to people, and I want to handle this in a healthier and more proactive way. I’ve already started in some ways, such as being a lot more open about how I’m feeling, and reaching out to some really close friends about what’s going on with me.
I realised tonight though that I need to do a lot more than just talk through all of my trauma. I need to start doing something more positively too.
Therefore, with this new blog/project, along with talking about my problems, I want to give a contention, or reason for living at least once a day. I’ll talk about both minute and momentous things because both are necessary. I need to start letting go of all of the self-pity, and I need to remind myself more about why my life is important, and why I should even bother. Despite all of the horrendous things that breed in this Universe, there also exists so much that is fucking beautiful and immeasurable.
I don’t know how long this project will go on, but I hope I can keep with it long enough to make some sort of a difference in my life. I don’t want to die by my own hands if I don’t have to. I want to survive.
Hello followers. I started a new blog last night in the midst of a revelation I was having that said if I don’t start doing something soon, I might end up dying by the end of the summer.
If you’d like to follow my new blog, and accompany me in my attempts to become more self-positive, and positive about life in general, then that is most welcome. Otherwise, I do not really expect any of you to. Also despite it being mostly a “happy” blog, it’ll occasional have posts of me explaining my depression in depth.
Anyway. Best wishes to myself, I suppose.
Weee!!!! My aunt brought back my family a bunch of sweets and things from her month long trip to Vietnam. Hello sweetened mung bean candies, and sesame honey. Not to mention the GIANT sack of dried squid she gave us that’s just waiting to be grilled, pulled, and dipped in sriracha. And that’s just a few of the things she brought back with her.
I’m not entirely sure why, but I’ve always kinda been in love with Iceland, and have joked around a lot about learning Icelandic.
But Icelandic is so hard.
Either way though, whether or not I ever learn the language, I would really like to visit Iceland sometime.
My dad has decided to turn up the 11-speaker surround sound in my basement with his favourite rock music from the 80’s because he’s barbecuing meat today and I guess he feels the need to celebrate.
I’m currently hiding in my room clutching to my folky music.
Somebody come kidnap me so we can listen to some folky music together while running barefoot in a field somewhere, and I can make us some vegetarian pizza afterwards for some cuddling and movies.
Gah.
Shaun has now become the mommy to four baby chicks that look like four bright yellow fuzzy balls.
Have I ever told you guys how much I love claymation? Because shit. I love it. And Shaun the Sheep is ADORABLE.
HOW IS THAT NOT ADORABLE?
I extremely want this to be a positive day, but after conversations last night, and reflections upon the last year, I woke up feeling really unhappy.
Hmm.
LOL I guess I smell like fish sauce, and sriracha, and rice, and braised fish, and all of that stuff that goes with the “Asian scent” now. I guess that’s why my friends tell me that I smell good so much; they don’t want to hurt my ~~feelings~~.
According to this white person that’s friends with my cousin, we have the “Asian scent”.
It’s been rainy all day, and I just really want to cuddle with someone with Netflix, large amounts of hot cocoa, and oatmeal cookies.
Well, that was the worst finale of a season I have ever seen.
Ryan Murphy, you and your writers are terrible with your poor plot lines and devices, non-use of continuity, cissexism, heteronormativity, homonormativity, and occasional transphobic, ableist, and privileged language.
I have no idea why I even continued watching Glee after the trainwreck that was season 2.
What I hate even more is that I will probably watch the fourth season of Glee because THEY NEVER EXPLAINED WHAT HAPPENED TO KURT and I hate not feeling closure with television shows. But seriously, what is he gonna do now that he isn’t going to New York???
Gah.
Feels. Too many feels.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
GAAAAAH.
Please let me meet someone at Pride.
